Big Brown Snake

I was outside walking the property the other day when I came upon a big brown snake. This thing was about five feet long and was thick-bodied. Surely it wasn't a cottonmouth on my property! But what else could it be with such a thick body? This thing had to go! Not wanting to get too close to it I decided to throw some rocks at it to scare it away. Let it go somewhere else!

I threw several rocks at it and the thing absolutely refused to move. I threw several more rocks at it but again it refused to move. I really didn't want to get too close to it but we have kids in the neighborhood and I surely didn't want to step on it late one night.

I went to get my trusty five iron - the old "snake killer" ! My heart was racing because this was one of the scariest snakes I have ever seen and I was going to have to get within three feet of it to either kill it or chase it away. Maybe it wasn't a poisonous snake and I could just scare it away but the more I looked at the size of that thing the more I was convinced that it was a poisonous snake.

I conquered my fears enough to approach it within striking distance of the five iron. My heart was racing. The head was pointed away from me and from where I stood I could not get a clear swing at it. I decided to touch it with the five iron to get it to turn around so I could strike the head. I leaned way over to maintain as much distance as possible between me and the snake. I touched the center part of it's body with the trusty old five iron and it rolled over just like any other five foot long limb lying in the yard.

When my heart quit racing I casually walked into the house and called my optometrist to make an appointment to get new glasses.

classmate name withheld by request